Fireplace -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on July 19th, 2013. It was claimed within 15 minutes.

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So there you were, you and her, the lights low, and bottle of chablis, (fake) bear skin rug, Marvin Gay on the iTunes. You were set for romance. In fact, you showered today and trimmed up your..um..back hair to try to impress her.

All that time you put into this relationship is about to pay off. The flirting at the office, inviting her out for after work drinks at TGI Fridays, that time you offered to look after her dog while she goes on that short work trip and you did not go through her underwear drawer even though you really wanted to lest she think you a creeper.

Here is it. The moment. This is it. Soon you'll be doing the horizontal mambo. Then it hit you, you don't have a fireplace. NOOOOOOOO! This won't do! You need the warmth and the smell and the sounds of the eternal primal fire to stir that sexual beast inside her!

Don't panic. I got you buddy, I got you. I just happen to have a fireplace that is sitting in my backyard just wanting for you to take home, clean up, install, and start the love making.

Ok, its been outside for a long time, in fact I used to use it as an outdoor fireplace, but I want to do different things to my backyard. We can't install in our house so there it is. Rusty, yep, dirty, yep, will it work, yep.

You need to haul it out, bring a couple people and a cart or something to help move it, cause it's heavy.

So, I wanted to ask money for it, but let's be honest, I am giving it away for free. But, should your soul require you to bestow upon me a token of appreciation, feel free to do so. I just happen to like beer and irish whisky.

Thanks for reading,

E