How to become a Strong Man

How to become a Strong Man in just a few simple steps.

1. Start like this.

2. Shave everything but the mustache and eyebrows

3. Wear your underwear and carry huge weights. Get a medal too.

4. Show up at local bar and impress everybody.

5. Sing and Dance to Macho Man

 6. Work It

Fireplace -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on July 19th, 2013. It was claimed within 15 minutes.

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So there you were, you and her, the lights low, and bottle of chablis, (fake) bear skin rug, Marvin Gay on the iTunes. You were set for romance. In fact, you showered today and trimmed up your..um..back hair to try to impress her.

All that time you put into this relationship is about to pay off. The flirting at the office, inviting her out for after work drinks at TGI Fridays, that time you offered to look after her dog while she goes on that short work trip and you did not go through her underwear drawer even though you really wanted to lest she think you a creeper.

Here is it. The moment. This is it. Soon you'll be doing the horizontal mambo. Then it hit you, you don't have a fireplace. NOOOOOOOO! This won't do! You need the warmth and the smell and the sounds of the eternal primal fire to stir that sexual beast inside her!

Don't panic. I got you buddy, I got you. I just happen to have a fireplace that is sitting in my backyard just wanting for you to take home, clean up, install, and start the love making.

Ok, its been outside for a long time, in fact I used to use it as an outdoor fireplace, but I want to do different things to my backyard. We can't install in our house so there it is. Rusty, yep, dirty, yep, will it work, yep.

You need to haul it out, bring a couple people and a cart or something to help move it, cause it's heavy.

So, I wanted to ask money for it, but let's be honest, I am giving it away for free. But, should your soul require you to bestow upon me a token of appreciation, feel free to do so. I just happen to like beer and irish whisky.

Thanks for reading,

E

BBQ -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on July 18th, 2013. It was claimed in less than an hour and picked up on the 19th.

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Once upon a time there was a magical land where dads would gather and grill the flesh of animals and drink beer and talk with out interruption of children or their spouses. It was a magical place. The land of BBQ it was called.

But after long, BBQ was used less and less, time was busy, life was busy, busy busy busy busy. These men spent less time together and more time with the families. BBQ fell into a deep rut and fell into disrepair. Sadness spread through the land. Microwaved hotdogs did not have the same appeal.

Then one day, a stranger came upon the land, and said, "I shall take it upon me to do something with this. Maybe I shall repair it, maybe I shall use the parts to build something else, maybe I shall take it and scrap it for some money."

The propane tank in the photo is not included.

Thanks for reading,

E

Hey Buddy, Can you help me find a job?

I am looking for work, or as some call it a job. I am a recent college graduate from Shoreline Community College with an AA and a GPA of 3.44.

I have many skills and talents in working with people, showmanship, event planning and event coordinating, kitchen help, cooking cleaning, writing, layout, researching, and lots of other things.

The kicker is is that my wife is going through her Masters degree at the UW and we have two kids, ages 2 and 7. I am basically a stay at home dad for the most part. On top of that we are white water river guides for a Joint Base Lewis McChord outdoor rec program that I have been a volunteer for for over 10 years.

So I can totally work weekends, but I have several dates that I cannot work due to prior commitments. Which is a bugger.

The truth is, yes that sucks, but I can tell you and I have loads of folks that can back me up, that when I am there working for you, I am basically amazing. You won't regret hiring me even with a wacky schedule.

Contact me to connect and lets make awesome things together.


Thanks for reading,

Eric

Headboard, queen size, wooden -- A Craigslist ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on May 19th, 2013.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3816560869.html
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I am giving away a queen-bed sized, wooden headboard. It is simple and classic in design. It does have a few wear marks and a hair line crack. No attaching hardware included.

Now, I am not saying this headboard will give you magical loving powers, but let's just say that my life has changed a lot since getting my hands on it. I bought it while on a trip in China. I was walking down a rather lonesome alleyway when I came upon this seemingly ancient shop. The owner of the shop didn't even ask me what I wanted, but looked me over and said in broken English "Headboard". I was confused, but interested. So I bought it. Paid $60 American dollars for it.

Packed it up and took it home. And my life changed. I was able to do things in bed that I have only seen on the internet. Which turns out has lots of porn on it, who knew. I was more flexible, potent, lasting, and I even enjoyed cuddling now to. I went from zero, in fact less than zero, to Hero. I was like a funk bands horn section of sexual power, and if you have ever seen a really good funk band horn section do their thang, you'll understand.

Now, why would I get rid of it? Well, turns out I have these same powers and skills even when I am not in my bed. Hotels, motels, campgrounds, back of the mini-van, the kitchen table, upside down river rafts. I guess, the power of the headboard has passed into me. Now, I can't confirm that it still has the magic, but what could it hurt. Heck if you believe enough, maybe it will have a placebo effect.

Email for directions, I'll take the ad down when it's confirmed gone, unless I am doing the horizontal mambo. In which case it'll be a few hours before I do that.

Cheers

2 Microwaves - Scrap or Art? -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on May 19th, 2013.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3816482524.html
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I am going to give you the greatest chance in the world. You are going to be given a set of parts that may be able to build a time machine. Yep. You're own Time Machine, like that movie Primer, or Back To The Future 5 (well, you have to go to the year 2025 to see that.) 

I am doing this by giving you the chance to take away not one, but two(2) microwaves. Now these microwave, or Time Machine Parts as well call them around here, may or may not work. They do need some cleaning as they have been outside mostly covered on our back porch. One is really big, one is "normal" size (hey no getting to some long winded Comparative History of Idea's discussion over what defines normal alright.)

Now, like I was saying, I am pretty sure you can build a Time Machine out of these. Do I have plans for one? No. I am a writer, father, husband, worker, and not a theoretical engineer. But maybe you are. Do be aware that you'll want to build safety systems including, but not limited to, pressurized cabins, cabins containing breathable air, and a way to achieve elevation incase the land the machine is on is covered in ice or what not.

Email for directions. I'll take the ad down once the items are confirmed gone.

Cheers.

A Piano! -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on May 8th, 2013. Technically I had posted it on the 4th, but no takers so after a couple of repostings I rewrote it.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3781339881.html
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SO you said to yourself the other day, "I wish I could play the piano!" And you looked around you house only to realize that you did not have a piano. Shoot Beans!

Friend, today is your lucky day, cause I just happen to have a piano I want to get rid of. For FREE! It is an upright piano!

Couple things to note about this piano, it's been sitting outside under cover for a couple of years now. It's also in my backyard. You will need a truck or a trailer or something cause it's a piano right!

This piano needs a lot of love and care but could be a great piano. Hey it's free right. It appears that some of the keys might be not working, and it is way out of tune. Or it's a art piece, or something to smash putt. Or scrap.

We're in Greenwood, email for directions and a time to do this. Bring a few friends, a truck or trailer, maybe a ramp to help you move it.

I'll delete this ad when the piano is gone.

Cheers.

Fishing Tackle Box with tackle -- A craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on May 8th, 2013. I had posted this along with the fishing poles, but the guy who picked those up left the tackle box.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3792750590.html

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Right now, sitting on my front porch, is one of the worlds greatest things. A weeping Angel. Oh no, wait that's kind of scary. No, it's a tackle box, that has a large top lid compartment, and 2, count them, Two sidling drawer compartments with those little separator doodles to help you be organized.

Honestly, if you've been following the Free section of Craigslist you may have seem my other writings: The lamps that are LSD worthy, the desk that wanted love and pizza, the fishing poles that help parents teach children about lying. Gold I tell you, and not trying to be vain, but those were top notch gold standard essays.

But, wow, the best I come up with for this tackle box is a lame Dr. Who reference? That's what I get for being a college student married to a college student with two little rugrats and not getting enough sleep. So instead I sit and type and vent about my own failures as a writer. Unlike the tackle box. Which is a fantastic writer. Well ghost writer at least. The publishing company (they request that I don't divulge who they are in public) decided that having "Fishing Tackle Box" as the authors name was not as catchy as say Douglas Adams, Isaac Asimov, or Richard Scarry. Now those are names.

By the way the tackle box does come with some tackle, like you know like hooks and plastic worms, hooks, weights and other jiggly bits.

So instead the tackle box makes a decent living being a ghost writer for (also due to legal reasons I can't divulge those names, but let's just say that "A Charge to Keep: My Journey to the White House" would have been mostly pictures of animals and a high ranking politician using a lightsaber). It's not sad by it's lack of fame, of course, I mean at the end of the day it is just a tackle box. Oh, where does the money go that it earns? Not only is it a great writer, but the damn thing is also an Altruistic S.O.B. It gives away all of it's earnings to a variety of charities through a trust account that I cannot touch. So, be aware of that when you take the tackle box, you won't see a single dime. Unless you sell the fish you catch.

So why, my writing sucks today, I am off my game. I'll try harder later when I try to get rid of a wooden futon frame that is slightly broken and has been outside for several years.


Which reminds me, email for directions. I'll take the ad down once the tackle box is gone.

Cheers.

Fishing Pole - Catch An Awesome Good Time! -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this on Craigslist Seattle, under the Free Stuff section on May 5th, 2013. It was picked up on the 6th.

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We are giving away a couple of fishing poles and a tackle box of fishing tackle for free. "Why?" you ask. Because we have a lot of stuff we don't use and felt it better that they go to somebody how would use them.

Both fishing poles come with reels, which are Zebco brand as are the poles. The poles are good for most kids and even adults. The tackle box has...tackle in it, you know like hooks and plastic worms and other jiggly bits.

But you want to know what's really special about this set? It came from Minnesota. Yep, Land of Ten Thousand Lakes. You know what people do there? Fish. They fish like us Seattleites drink coffee. Which, if my understanding of the energy of the universe (which I don't cause I have to read the book "Fishing and the Universal Quantum Energy Theory) (Mostly because it has not been written.)(At least not that I found on Amazon.com), means that these poles will not only help you catch fish, these fish will be huge and plentiful and tasty.

Lastly, fishing is a wonderful family bonding activity. Get to learn about catch and release, fish cleaning and guts, the smell of a lake, the smell of fish guts, how worms feel in your fingers, fish species and most importantly, lying. You may be asking yourself, what does this guy mean lying? Well, you can teach your kids that generally, lying is really bad and never do it. Unless it comes to fishing, then the size of your fish doubles and maybe even triples. This is normal for fishing. So really, your kids will learn about timing.

So pick up these free fishing poles and tackle box full of gear and have the Quantum World of Magical Lying Fish come a knocking at your door.

Which reminds me, email for directions. I'll take the ad down once these poles are gone.

Cheers.

Two Lamps - Super Groovy! -- A Craigslist Ad

I posted this ad on May 6th, 2013 in the Seattle Craigslist Free Stuff section. They were picked up on the 6th!



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Hey. Hey you....Yeah you....wanna lamp? Yeah I bet you do. I can see it in your eyes. You're jonesin' for a wicked far-out mind blowing lamp. But guess what friend, I got what you need. And I got two of them. And you're in luck, I gonna give them to you for free. Yeah free, you heard me. Cause I like you friend, cause I like you.

That's right. I have two amazing one of a kind lamps. I have pictures because honestly, no words can be used to describe their awesomeness. Not even Robert Anton Wilson & Robert Shea, those two wacked out hippy guys that wrote the The Illuminatus Trilogy could have thought up words for these lamps. Well, maybe if they were really really high. Which of course is now legal in Washington, which means maybe, if you took these lamps home, got really high, maybe just maybe you could write the words. 

But I warn you, such an endeavor could alter your reality forever, like in the movie Alter-States, Lawn Mower Man, and Look Who's Talking. FOREVER!

A couple things two note about these lamps. One lamp needs a new plug, it lost its plug in a bar fight defending the honor of a lovely lass. It was a bloody brawl, but in the end the lamp won. Which also means we can not state that it works, we're pretty sure it will, it is a plucky lamp.

The other lamp does have some rust damage on the bottom. Just like me. It's a hereditary condition, don't ask.

But they are free. Free like your mind will be once these lamps are in your house, lighting your room like the giant space light bulb sending it's waves of joy and brilliance down upon you.

Email for directions, I'll take the ad down once they are gone. Please take both lamps, they don't like to be alone.

Cheers.

Solid Wood Desk for Kids -- A Craigslist ad

I posted this ad on May the 4th, 2013 in the Seattle Craigslist Free Stuff section. It was picked up on the 7th.

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Hello, 

We are giving away, for FREE, a child size desk. It is solid wood parts, not that fiber board stuff, yuck, but solid wood which means when you give it some love it will be totally amazing. Totally. It love needs love though, lets be honest, but really don't we all? Isn't what we all want out of life is to be loved? Oh that and some decent pizza. Yep Love and pizza.

Anyways, it needs some love (I suggest fixing it while eating pizza), the top has some damage that would need a good sanding, and it only has the center drawer and missing the 3 side drawers. Missing or ready to install a really neat o space for a computer, or fish tank? I don't know, I am just a guy who needs love and a pizza.

Now, smart kids have used this desk, so I bet your kids will be smart too, or at least thrifty.

You'll note the damage to the top in the one picture, you also note that your kids could do Vector Analysis if they wanted (books not included). Just saying.

All in all it's a neat desk that you will learn to love, because we all want love, even desks and pizza. Your kids will love it too, or you could use the desk to replace all of your furniture with tiny furniture and fool your friends.

32" Wide, 17" Deep, 30" Tall

Email for directions.

I'll take this posting down once it's gone.

Cheers.

Carpet. Kind of Gross -- A Craigslist Ad

~~~~~ Update: The ad got flagged for an yet to be found out reason. I will have to rewrite it.

I posted in the Free Stuff section of the Seattle Craigslist on May 5th, 2013.

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/zip/3787356315.html

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Carpet, in theory it is beige in color, 30" x 50"

Ok, you've seen a lot of crap on Craigslist before. And you have even fallen for some free ad saying they will give you for free a really awesome thing, like an egg timer that also tells the future. Then you pick it up and Shut-The-Front-Door, this this doesn't tell the future and it sucks at keeping time!

So, I am not going to lie to you. This carpet is kind of gross and could use a really good cleaning. It has been outside and more than likely slept on by a cat, and maybe even an opossum. So ya, it's nothing to write home about. But throwing it away goes against our Reduce-Reuse-Recycle ethos (yeah when was the last time you saw the word Ethos in a craigslist ad!). It we must we will end up throwing it away, but it just seems that maybe you could use this weird carpet for something.

Hey, I have a carpet.
And it is yucky.
But I'll give you my address,
if you email me, maybe?

(Email for directions and I'll take the ad down once it's gone.)

Cheers.

Turning Panic into Excitement

Back Story:
A: I have dealt with depression/Bi-polar-panic issues since I was a teen. I am a great worrier and overthinker. I tend to avoid rather than confront.
B: My wife and I are white water river guides.

So when I first started guiding I was scared a lot truth be told. The river, my skills, my ability to lead, the teams skills, the river. I was scared. I smoked smokes on the shuttle drives and got even more worried.

It wouldn't pass until the first rapid, then it tapered off. Then I felt better.

The annoying thing those wasn't those times, those were triggered by the actual event happening. What's annoying is the panic attakes days or weeks before. I would see the river in my mind while riding the bus. I would see every wave. My heart would jump right up and start pounding. My mind reeling. Breath short.

This happened for several years, often adding a major argument with my wife, she trying her best to convienve me to turn that emotion into excitement.

It's finally happening, and without me doing anything to flip it. It took quitting smoking, it took swimming more often, it took just a mental attitude change.

Today I was riding the bus. Good song on the headphones. The I saw the rapid. Rock-N-Roll, the first rapid, the longest rapid, the one were is shit goes wrong it could really go wrong.

My heart started thumping. My mind was totally there seeing the waves, hearing the waves.

I smiled.

I felt joy.

I mentally paddled through each bend. Until We made it out the otherside.

You can do this too if you share my issues. It takes work and time and paitence and love. Mostly self love.

See the river, paddle on.


Thanks for reading,

E

When In Need. Find A Helper.

Can't Hold Us

So there's the Seattle Rapper, no strike that, Rapper named Macklemore.

One word. Brilliant. Two word. Very Sincere. Three Word. He is Talented.

His song Can't Hold Us from the Heist is (so many words that my fingers will cramp and fall off from the writing and then I won't be able to finish college and everything will fall apart so I'll just say) Great. Really Great.
This is a special song.

Thanks for reading,

E

What Do I love? Beards and Charity

My Family, a thing I love.

My favorite (yes it's a plug, but it's my blog) razor company is Dollar Shave Club and they asked me to tell them what I love. Well, being a happy guy, I have lots of things I love. My wife and kids, being a white water river guide for an MWR program over at Joint Base Lewis-McChord, and a charity event called the Beard and Stach Fest.

I love being a river guide.

I love my orange hat, rafting, and my fellow guides. 

The Beard and Stach Fest works by us guys get our pics put on cans and you all vote with your money. The more votes I get the better chances I could win. The money all goes to the Treehouse Foundation that supports foster kids in the Seattle area. These kids need help, being a foster kid is often really freaking tough and that money goes to make things a bit better and brighter.

So that is something I love. I want you to love it too. I want you to love the goofy joy of well groomed, using the best delivered to your mail box for very little money razors that very little money can buy, beards and mustaches are. I want you to fill the glee that only donating money online to my pitcure (Kilted Eric of the Whisker Rebellion) can give you.

Trust me, voting for me is like watching the Dollar Shave Club commercial for the very first time. You giggle, you are surprised, a little off guard, then impressed, and then totally hooked and committed. Then giggling again and showing it off to your friends. Which is what making out with me is also like, just saying.

So, there. Now you know that I love the Beard and Stache Fest. I hope you will too.

Thanks for reading,

Kilted Eric

Bom Bom - Amazing

So there's this band called Sam and the Womp.

They are from England and they are simply amazing, or I should say specifically their song Bom Bom is simply amazing.

It is a wonderful and tasty blend of techno, dance, Balkan, a bit o Gypsy Punk, and a dash of Dubstep for pepper.

Now what I want you to pay attention to is the wicked little dub bit that drifts in. It' small, its impressive, and it knows just what to do. And it not full of itself and thinks it hot shit.

I call this post "The Song To Play After You Drank Too Much on Saint Patrick's Day And Heard Enough Celtic Tunes For the Year"

Enjoy,

E.

Happy St. Pats part 2: If I Should Fall

So there's this holiday were a lot of people drink a lot (I am not here to debate the rights and wrongs and mistreatments of holidays.). So, if you are one of those folks, play this song now. If not, play the song anyways.

The Pogues with If I should Fall From the Grace Of God.


Thanks for reading,

E

Happy St. Pats: The WIld Rover

So there's traditional Irish music and if you want that perfect embodiment of the tradition Irish pub singers/tune then look no further than to The Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem with the Wild Rover.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Thanks for reading,

E

Wicked Tinkers

So there's pipes and drums. They are technically not Irish so to speak. Anyways, this is not a history blog. So there's pipes and drums, and them there's the Wicked Tinkers.

Buy everything they own.

Thanks for reading,

E

Black Is the Colour

So there is Christy Moore. A fantastic musician of the Irish tradition.

Which means love ballads, war tunes, and anti war tunes and a few drinking songs.

His voice is like butter.

Enjoy.

Thanks for reading,

E

Within A Mile Of Home

So there's this band called Flogging Molly. Irish punk from Cali heavily influenced by the Pogues and the modern pop punk scene and they do it all well. A little rockabilly, zydeco, and the ballads.

Here's Within A Mile Of Home, enjoy.

Thanks for reading,

E

Bottle of Smoke

So theres this band called the Pogues.

They are/were amazing celtic punk trad sounds. Here is one of my favo tracks. Bottle Of Smoke. It captures the sound that they brought out.

Enjoy:

Thanks for reading,

E

Rising of the Moon

So theres this song called Rising Of The Moon. It's a call to arms song, a war song, a song for Troubles. Sung by many people, but my personal favorite is by the Clancy Brothers & Tommy Makem. Enjoy:

Thanks for reading,

E

Liam O'Flynn: Ar bruach na Laoi

So there's this piper named Liam O'Flynn. And he's really good. I mean really good. He plays the uilleann pipe, sometime known as the Irish pipes. A bit softer and gentler than the big Scottish pipes. This sing I choose for you is simply a sweet song. A nice way to kick of this little sharing project.

Cheers.

Thanks for reading,

E

Of Dub and Noise

So theres this musical genre call Dubstep. Depending on your point of reference it call sound like many things. It falls into the Electronic Dance Music section of life. I started out not liking it, but then I broadening out a bit and found what makes me really happy. So what follows is my two bits (more like three) on decent Dubstep.

Music Review: Sand On the Floor

So there's this remix-mash up by local guy DJ Skiddle. It's called Sand On the Floor.


It is a combination of two songs, Jennifer Lopez's On the Floor, and Darude's Sandstorm.

Here are the originals:

My two bits. Both songs on their own are decent tunes, but combined they Are simply amazing! Now I can't not think about the songs even being separated. They were meant to be together.



Thanks for reading,

E
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Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Music Review: Too Close - Jason Nevins Radio Edit

So there's this remix of Alex Clare's Too Close by Jason Nevins.

Now, for comparison, heres the original.

I gotta say, I really dig the remix, I dig it much more than the original. Heres my two bits why. I am picky about dub step. Dub step is wonderful when used well and sparingly. I have Skrillix in my music database for shows, but I rarely play it for myself. He overdoes it a lot. Sure he won awards, but still doesn't mean I like it. Art is subjective, get over it.

Well, with Clare's Too Close I always felt that the dub step bass drops were out of place and didn't fit the song as a whole. Nevins' takes the song tweeks it subtly and gives us a version that holds the song in a better place to my ears. The Dub is still there, but more background than foreground.

Some point I'll tell you about my fav Dubber's (lolz), one being Krewella. They rock the hiz-ous.


Thanks for reading,

E
----------------------------
Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Music Review: Unlike Pluto's I Will Wait

So there's this remix of Mumford & Son's I Will Wait from their album Babel. Note, this youtube clip is just a song not a moving video.

Now, for comparison, here is the original.

Now, my two bits. To start with, I quickly became an adoring fan of Mumford & Sons. I sum up their entirety of music in one word: Sincerity. These guys write songs they believe in and tell stories that bare truth, and when you see them play live (I WILL see them play live IRL someday) you can see a joy on their faces.

When I heard Unlike Pluto's  on Database Radio on C89.5 remix, I did not like it, but I was intrigued. I felt that M&S's music is not for the Dance music scene and stood fine on it's own. But the more I heard it, the more turned on to it I was. Pluto captures that joyful sincerity and bops it on it's head with a goofy grin. Up beat and a dance floor friendly tempo, I think I'll be adding this remix to my dance floors soon!


Thanks for reading,

E
----------------------------
Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Of Horror and Centipedes

So there's this movie called the Human Centipede about a nutty evil doctor who does some awful things to three people, and it was made fun of by South Park.

Now, I have not seen this movie, or the sequel. I have read about it and it takes up space in my head way more than I would like. The concept horrifies me yet I have trouble not pondering just how awful the movie could be. It's bugging the crap out of me. I am hoping that this blog post will help clear it out.

I am taking a cinema history class in college right now and I spend a lot of time reading Rodger Ebert reviews and essays on classics like the Bicycle Thieves and Citizen Kane (oh so Rosebud was his.... I am not that big of a jerk). And I thought to myself, humm, I wonder what Ebert says about the film(s). So I read.

THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE (UNRATED) & THE HUMAN CENTIPEDE 2 (FULL SEQUENCE) (UNRATED)

These two reviews are wonderfully written and gave me a much needed clearing out. His reviews not only give me something to chuckle about, but also seemed to give me the OK to understand that these movies are garbage and unwarranted of my time. Why did it take these reviews to do it, I have no freaking clue.

Oh yes, and in case you are wondering why I didn't link up the movie in any way other than the Ebert links, cause its trash and doesn't need any more links raising it's search engine hit rates.


Thanks for reading,

E
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Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Mornings are for...information.

So there is this piece in the Seattle Times about smartphones, media, and waking up in the morning.
Whatever happened to mornings? Oh yeah – our smartphones

To summaries: More and more people are waking up and the very first thing they are doing is checking their phones, be it news, social media, or email.

This article really hits a note with me. I am very connected to my iPod Touch (I don't have a smartphone, but I use my Touch in a very similar way). I use it as my clock, much like the article talks about and I am checking it before my eyes even really wake up. Admittedly, I sit in the toilet the first thing and check my twitter. Sorry, but I do want to be truthful on this site.

I am going to try to do this less starting tonight. One major reason, the alarm clock on the iPod Touch is way to easy to shut off. I have done this more than I want to and cut it close to being late to things because of it.

Thanks for reading,

E
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Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Wanna Hunt Snakes? No.

So there was this story, Stranded python hunters rescued from Broward Everglades.

Lordy Lordy Lordy.

Here's my two bits, I think Florida should have heard the Freakonomics episode on the Cobra Effect.  I foresee a failure in their plan.

Thanks for reading,

E
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Cartoon citation: Jan 24, 2013Jan 24, 2013280 × 211 - theatlanticwire.com via The Simpsons

I hate "Blank" You should too.

So there was this article: WHY THE IPHONE IS IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO USE on the Droid Den (all caps theirs).

First, please note that the article about how the user really disliked the iPhone was written on a site dedicated to Droid phones/gear. Bias issues anybody? Now, consider that we choose to carry on reading even though we are pretty sure that the author will write with a bias (although he says he went in with an open mind (yeah right)). My two bits picks up after his review.

So, my two bits are that yep he had an experience that he did not enjoy. And Yep he prefers something else. And yep, the reality is is that this article is pretty much just an ad for Droid products.

What my full take though is that YES I think reviews of products are important, it helps the buyer make informed decisions. But writing article from the slant of "Impossible for me to use" is poor writing and a mask. The truth of the matter as I see it is that the beauty of the open market giving us many different types of tools, often similar to other tools, but this lets you the buyer pick and choose the tool that works best for you. Now, should you find difficulty in using a product, fine pick something else. But that does not mean that that product is bad and people should avoid it. Somebody else may think the counter is true.

So, please review products, but do so with a fair and even balance. And please be very skeptical of an anti-review being hosted on a competitor's site.


Thanks for reading,

E

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Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.

Rapey ad! (Is Rapey a word?)

So there was a Superbowl. There were ads. A lot had lots of sexy ladies, hunky dudes, and beer. (Truth time, I didn't watch the game, nor have I gone to Hulu to view the ads, I am totally guessing.) And then there was this commercial:

Then I heard that some people got in a roar and then other people shot back and then this guy wrote this:

Why Are Conservatives Defending Audi’s Rapey Super Bowl Ad? By Joel Mathis on the Philly Mag Blog

Now first things first: Rape in not a good thing. It is an evil thing.
Second: I hope that I am a bit more than the average male in the terms of enlightenment, but I am me, so my perspective is mine.

Third: No, no, no, the word Rapey is not a word nor should it be. It reduces the meaning of the word to a lesser evil. Like I only kind of killed that guy, I mean sure I killed him, but just lightly. So my first reaction is that the writer is behaving like a dill weed.

Now here's my two bits: I personally say that this is not a video of forced sex acts. This is a video of a teen romance like any 80's teen movie were the geek gets the girl. This is also a car commercial and is trying to get geeks who are watching the game (for the commercials I assume) to buy cars. This video also pokes fun at the Prom King, who stereotypically is a football player, which is rather funny when one thinks about the place where/when this was aired.

Lastly, Rapey is still not a word, and Mr. Mathis should be sorry he penned it.

Thanks for reading,

E

----------------------------
Send your thoughts to histwobits@gmail.com. I'll try to read each one, and I'll share the ones I deem awesome (for whatever reason) as often as I can. Know that I will more than likely not reply back to your email. Thanks.